Today is a fucked up date day.
(except that Pam is finally free to meet us!)
It’s as if, all the birds chose to shit on me today.
I even accidentally burn my hand.
I couldn’t agree much to everyone now. My expectation for boyfriend is so fucking high.
You don’t even wanna know what i’m thinking now. Very disappointed.
Have you ever lost in a game which you were very good in?
It hurts fucking real bad.
It’s mine, nobody shall play it/ be better at it.
I think i just hate losing. so much.
Again, i’m feeling that way.
At this point of my day, i hate everyone. literally, everyone. The feeling just come and go. It’s like.. how you abhor project work or in general, work. You hate it when you are overwhelmed by the mountain-like amount of work. But after you’re done with all your work, you find that going to your workplace is a breeze and you no longer hate it.
I guess this is like a snowball effect?
It accumulates into a big snowball, hit into a rock, burst.
Then it starts rolling again. A never ending shit logic.
So… Where’s my rock? I can’t wait to ditch this feeling. This… Scary feeling.
No, i’m not a emo shit.
WENQI! my lovable mimi, i just read your recent post. i cried continuously. i’m sorry for all that happened. i don’t wanna leave you too. it’s just 2 months and we’re so attached already. i knew this day would come so i’ve cherished every moment i had with yall. i even stop watching A Shot For Love 2 to write this entry.
remember what i’ve said last night okay. <3
anyhow, i broke up with B already. we were just asking each other to update our couple picture last weekend. i know he’s back in SG already. he didn’t even reply my text. it’s funny how fast things can change.
i guess we’re probably gone for good. still, i love how we spam Fuck at each other, oogle at girls/guys together, visit 218, had our little wrestling on bed, act cute to each other. he’ve changed so much during this 16 months.
and i’m still glad i’m one of this train station in his journey and his stay was the longest.
(EDIT)
i just tried calling him. i broke down.
seriously.
this is how stupid and bad girlfriend i can get.
HE’S NOT EVEN IN SG.
being his girlfriend, i don’t even know my boyfriend has extended his sail. and i was fucking emoing to myself? still, i sent him such an awful text message.
HE DO NOT DESERVE THIS. HE DO NOT DESERVE THIS.
go shit in your pants lah, szerui!
i fucking regret sending that break up text.
i’m feeling like fuck fuck fuck. downright, upleft, still down.
first thing, i got the installation code from B and was all happy to finally being able to play Sims2; the complete collection. but guess what, the 2 sims i’ve created did not get along well! they were so grumpy about each other and no matter how much i made them to talk to each other, relationship meter is still stuck at 70+ and lifetime partner meter stuck at 40+. i feel like killing them! felt like building a small area without doors, add in a fireplace and make them stay inside till the fireplace got on fire and burn them into ashes!
FUCK!
second thing, a random soap opera was broadcasting in my house. i got so fucked up is not totally cause of the main actress, it’s because of the sub actor and actress. they kept bugging me to be part of it. well, it ended like 5am in the morning and everyone’s feeling sleepy.
morale of story:
Age and development doesn’t matter. it’s the level of maturity.
third thing, it’s pretty much solved. it was a close shave. lucky B knew how to handle me, a sensitive person. but sometimes, he just didn’t want to. oh well, i’m glad that it’s over. i love to pick a fight but hate it when it last. yeah, i’mma paradox. what are you gon do bout it?
much loves, 
